I've spent the past four weeks reading a bunch of books I got from my friend Debbie's house. Many of them were vastly enjoyable, but some of them ... God some of them made me want to rip my womb out and renounce my womanhood. I know what some of you are thinking, is this another rant against women? The answer's no.

This isn't about women. It's about the characters. Man or woman. Who are just so atrociously written, so pathetic that they inspire only contempt rather than the pity that some writers believe they should. It's just a coincidence that this particular character that pissed me off this week happens to be a woman. Trust me, I've read tons of books where I've wanted to pull a Lorraine Bobbit.

Here's the low down on the character. This woman Glynis, has two best friends. Colt and Jay. Yeah by the names alone you can tell it's a romance book, but don't judge me. I read everything. Anyway, Glynis is in love with Colt and him with her so they have a lovely romance. She's thinking happily ever after, white picket fence, 2.5 kids. The whole shebang.

I know what you're thinking, Colt doesn't want this. Au contraire mon ami, Colt does want it. But Colt is the smart one. He believes that he needs to get a proper job, to get properly situated before he can make a commitment to her. See? He's not so bad after all.

Here are Colt's plans. He's young, about 22 I guess, recently out of the army. So he gets an offer from an old army buddy to come work in his personal security firm. He tells Glynis that he'll do this, so he can make something of himself so he can have something to offer her.

Now do you think bitch would say "Oh that's wonderful, thank you for wanting to give me the world?" Of course not. She wants him to make promises immediately. She wants the white picket fence that they can't afford. She wants the house and the kids that they'll probably end up in debt for. She wants it all now and can't understand his need to ensure that he'll be able to provide all this for her.

She gets angry that he wants to go off and make money for their future. She believes he's choosing money over her. He of course, having a brain, says that's not true. He promises her he'll be back. He promises her that he's doing this for them. That if she can just wait for him a little while he'll be able to give her everything her little heart desires.

Her lovely response? If he leaves to take the job don't come back. BITCH! Now don't get me wrong, just because I use that word frequently doesn't mean I like using it. I honestly don't. I don't go around calling people bitch for fun. Well I do but only with my cousins. I just don't use the word as an insult lightly. I only do when a woman is so stupid and contemptible that she forces me to just hate her.

And you've gotta admit that it's pretty easy to hate someone who turns their back on a person who is just trying to better themselves ... for THEM!

Cut to Colt standing firm and leaving town to take the job. Cut to nine days later with Glynis finding out she's pregnant. Cut to two months later with Glynis marrying Colt's BEST FRIEND Jay and never telling Colt that she's pregnant with his child. Cut to eleven years later with Colt still not knowing the cow had his son, but she shows up on his doorstep, widowed after being married to a man who hated her son because he wasn't his and becoming a drunk, and now she's there to beg Colt for help because their son needs him as a bone marrow donor.

Then cut to her resenting Colt and actually getting angry at him when he gets angry at her for not telling him about his son. That's right. She gets angry at him because he tells her he wants to be a part of his son's life. That he wants to see his son regularly and that he's not going to let her take his bone marrow and then disappear once it's all over.

Now you see why I get ticked at characters like this? With everything she's done, she treats him as the villain because he gets angry and threatens to take the kid from her. But only after she gets stupid and tells him he can't have anything to do with his son.

Now I'm not usually one for custody battles unless one of the parents are clearly unfit. But I'd definitely be on Colt's side in this battle. Here you have a very selfish woman, who wants everything her way when she wants it, without regard for anyone else's feelings. She turned her back on the man she loved because he wouldn't give her what she wanted when she wanted it. She enters into a marriage with another man who she doesn't love and who doesn't love her, who then spends the rest of his short life resenting her and the son of his best friend. Then she shows up on poor Colt's doorstep and all but makes everything that happened his fault. She even had the gall to get angry at him for being shot a few days before she arrived and having blood that might not be pure enough as a result, which would render him unable to be a donor for their son.

Please fellow writers. For the love of all that you hold dear. Stop with these characters. They don't inspire warmth, pity, like or even sympathy. They just make you hate them all the more and it really takes the reader out of the story. I don't know about anyone else, but if I'm reading a book and don't like the so called heroine or hero in it then the end result won't be satisfying. More over I probably won't even finish it because I can't stand becoming involved in the life of a character that I despise.

So do us all a favor. Don't take a bitch or dick and then try to pretend that they're just strong yet vulnerable persons trying to protect themselves from being hurt again. That only works if they actually HAVE been hurt before. Not if they're the ones doing the hurting. Have them BE the victim. Not PLAY the victim. We can tell the difference.