What exactly defines "a change for the better?"
I ask this question after having just watched the second episode of the tenth season of ER, where Dr. Pratt's long lost father comes to see him after realizing who he was in the ninth season finale.
A little backstory is in need I think. Greg ... Dr. Pratt that is ... his father abandoned him ... maybe he was driven away, maybe he just walked away, whatever. Fact is he now has a second family and plays the loving husband and father to his new family. But here's the thing that's got me perplexed and no it's not something that was brought up on the show, just a question I asked myself as I watched.
So because Pratt Sr. made a good life for himself and is raising two apparently good kids and has a happy wife ... does that make him any less of a dead beat dad? I mean he abandoned Greg. Whether he was kicked out or had a restraining order against him, fact is just cause the relationship with first Mrs. Pratt soured ... he didn't stop being Greg's father.
Well, actually he did, but that was his choice. He ignored his first born son for about twenty-five plus years, 'made good' with his new family ... and now that Greg went to seek him out we're all supposed to just ignore that this guy abandoned his child? Sorry, I don't buy that. Yes, I know I might be holding a grudge or spiteful or whatever because I'm not as forgiving as some people ... but damn, you can't deny that the idea of excusing a guy for abandoning his kid just, because years have passed and he's now a good daddy, is kinda shitty.
He didn't look for Greg. He didn't try to get in contact with him. He, for all intense and purposes, forgot Greg existed. Maybe he didn't forget him in his heart or whatever, but let's face it ... he forgot his child.
So I don't get why it's now on Greg to be the man and embrace his new family. If Greg hadn't looked for him, that guy would never have told his kids they had a brother or looked for Greg himself. Yet because he 'reaches out' after Greg got curious, suddenly he's being the magnanimous one? He's the good one because he's willing to 'look past' his own assiness and extend a hand of welcome to his abandoned son? And Greg comes off as the jerk if he holds a grudge?
So by that thinking, the guy just out of prison who massacred your entire family who's now found God should be welcomed to your house for Thanksgiving dinner, because hey ... he's good now. Forget that he gutted your mother, raped your sister and set your father on fire. He's found Jesus. And that makes it all good. You're the evil, unforgiving non turning of the other cheek, a-hole who just can't let go of the past and grow beyond your anger.
Yeah, whatever. You're all full of shit. Greg's father is still the asshole who abandoned his son and never looked back. The fact that he could start another family and NOT leave them, all while he STILL ignored Greg's existence? Yeah he's still an asshole. Especially if he tries to smarm and act like Greg's the loser for not embracing him.
See that's why I like ... well like may be too strong a word ... that's why I prefer my emotionally distant parents and their cold non embracing way of parenting. They will never be good parents and my brothers and I all know that. They suck and should have been neutered at birth, but as my evil, evil, evil grandmother so often told me growing up, I was a mistake, so I forgive them for having me in the first place. They didn't intentionally have a child only to deliberately ruin my life. It was just a big boo boo. Can't blame them for that.
Besides let's face it. Without me ... you guys would have nothing to look forward to when you come here. Well there would be no here ... and how sad would that have been for you not to have known I didn't exist?
See with people like my folks, it's understandable for them to be bad parents. They just aren't worthy and they will never change. But the guy that abandons his kid ... even if at the time he wasn't ready for a family ... but then does have a family later and treats them like fricking royalty ... while still ignoring his other child ... yeah that's shit and he's a loser for it.
Oh and don't worry guys ... I'm talking about chicks too. Don't mistake this as a rant against men. You mothers who abandon your kids and then go off to have a child with some 'worthy man' ... You're all ... Losers.
What exactly defines "a change for the better?"