But Oscar wasn't the only Sesame Street character I liked. I loved Grover. He was so cute and adorable and he was weird. How could anyone not like that? But above all else Grover was cool. Dude he spoofed John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. To put it simply ... Grover Rocked! He made me laugh because he never tried hard for them. Laughs came automatically to him. He was just Grover.
Then there was Ernie. I loved Ernie. He was so unassuming. So normal to the point that he was completely insane. Ernie's weirdest trait was his extreme love for his rubber ducky. And you know what? I like that he loved his duck. I never had one myself, but I could certainly appreciate his emotional attachment to his duck. That's the same love I have for my computer and my VCR and my television. Love of inanimate objects is a pure a love as can be found anywhere. And there's nothing wrong with that!
But what I most loved about Ernie is that he was an insomniac like me. He could never get to sleep. Always awake in the middle of the night, bothering Bert about something. Awesome.
Now there's been a raging debate for years in regard to Ernie's sexuality and what exactly is his relationship with Bert. Now this is a ridiculous argument. Who the fuck cares whether he's gay or not? Just as long as he's not Bert's bitch I'm happy. Bert blows and not in a good way I'm sure.
He was too annoying, too whiny and too goddamn obsessed with pigeons. In short ... Bert was evil. Bert is evil.
But as much as I disliked Bert, nothing compares to the all consuming hatred that I felt for Big Bird. He was completely useless and unbelievably annoying. He had a teddy bear with a hella annoying name of Radar and even asleep I wanted to bludgeon him to death ... that snore of his would test the patience of a deaf person.
So when the Big moron ran away I cheered. Imagine how pissed off I was to learn that the freak ended up getting a movie deal out of it and that Follow That Moron [Bird] consisted of these idiot on the street, running around following his trail, trying to get him back home. Why would you do that? The dumb bird flew the coop. That's their nature man. Don't mess with nature. Sigh.
The only good thing Big Bird ever did, was teach parents to listen and pay attention to their children's lives. I don't know how many of you know this, but it's been said that they had to out Snuffy, [no, not that way freaks] because of Big Bird's unfortunately influence on children.
Apparently after years of everyone on the street thinking that Snuffy was Big Bird's imaginary friend and how no one would believe his protests that Snuffy was real. It was realized that the show was setting a bad example for kids who might have secret friends or some rather seemingly unbelievable yet harrowing tale (i.e., grandpa's being touching me funny). And that these kids might not feel like they can tell an adult and be believed, just like Big Bird wasn't believed.
So the execs behind the show, scrambled to correct their blunder to show kids that they can tell their parents if they have something strange happening to them and they will be believed ... or at least considered. And that's how everyone on the street, finally got to meet Snuffy. See how in-depth Sesame Street gets?
I still hated Big Bird though. Come on I had to.
But I didn't let that retarded bird ruin Sesame Street for me. There was too much good stuff on the street. The music was fricking awesome. I would tape every music video they had and just spend hours having a Sesame Street Top Video countdown. The Oinker Sisters, Don Music, Grover ... Britney Spears eat your heart out. You too Justin, Grover has more soul in his furry little finger than either of you will ever have in a lifetime, you pathetic fool wannabes.
Then there was the awesomely fun way they taught you stuff, without being too preachy and almost no moralizing. And the way celebs would come on and just forget they're supposed to be cool and just be goofy and fun.
Sesame Street was such an amazing place. I wanted to live there. To live on the street. Ha. I loved how you'd just call it the street. If you didn't know any better you'd watch the show expecting to see a bunch of hookers, pimps, crackheads and drug dealers trolling around. Wouldn't it have been hilarious if that really happened? That Maria and Luis were dealing drugs from the back of Hooper's store or that Bob was a big ole PIMP and Linda was his best deaf ho?
lol Awesome!
Previous--Obsessions
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