I'm obsessed with ...
Looking on the negative side of things. That's right. I'm a card carrying member of the Pessimist Club. Destined never to be disappointed by anything because I'm always expecting the worst anyway.
And you know what? I'm sure that I and all those like me, have a much better life than dumb optimists, because while they're wallowing in anguish and pain everytime their hopeful little dreams are crushed, myself and my fellow dark clouds rejoice and feel renewed, when good things happen to us.
That's right, we get payoff. A euphoric feeling when things go right. Optimists have no idea what this feels like because anything good that happens to them is shrugged away and accepted as the everyday.
They have no high highs, just very low, lows once they're disappointed.
I, on the other hand have extreme highs and every day lows. So take that you freaks who spend your days looking on the sunny side of life. Where's your bright hopeful eyes now huh? Now that you got hit by that harsh bitter pill of reality?
But I won't boast and rub it in your faces ... well anymore than I already have. I'll just express my disgust for all those insanely cheerful people who I strongly believe are the reasons for normal people going postal. Seriously I'm not kidding. Just think about it.
What is more annoying or frustrating or ... let's face it ... more unholy, than going to your shitty ass job every day, hating yourself for still being there after the five year limit that you gave yourself when you first took the position, in what has now become, your own personal version of hell, only to have to put up with Debbie, the ever perky, cheerful receptionist who smiles and greets you so brightly at that God awful, early ass hour in the morning, when you're feeling like utter shit and in desperate need of another 45mins of sleep?
I'm telling you people, the Debbies of the world are behind every office massacre or violent rampage, that ever occured. Who wouldn't go crazy having to put up with that shit day in day out? A person who seems to grow only more cheerful by the day while your life gets darker and more depressing.
You spend hours sitting in your little cubicle or office or whatever corner of hell you're currently in, thinking of the thousands of ways that you can wipe that cheerful grin off her annoying face and then your list grows longer. It's no longer just Debbie that you despise. It's the guy in the copy room that laughs a little too loudly, grating on your nerves every time he screws up the copy machine right before you're set to use it. Or the woman in the cafeteria who always seems to close her register just as you get to her, forcing you to take last place in the line for the other cashier. You don't care that she's simply doing as you are and going on her lunch break. All that matters is that this morning, Debbie grated your already frayed nerves, by asking if it wasn't a lovely day, right before you heard Dennis' annoying ass laugh, over by the copy room, as he fucked up someone else's day by making them have to rush off to Kinkos or Staples to make copies, cause he's the biggest asshole in the world.
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