I had it pictured clearly in my mind. Legions of unfortunate souls chained and hoisted up while the flames of hell licked at their heels. No reprieve, no redemption.
I know. Lovely thoughts for a 7yr old. Well, there began my insomniac phase. I haven't slept an entire night, unless I was sick, since.
But there's so much to think and say about death. Particularly if you believe in reincarnation. Which I most certainly do. And again trust me it's best we not get into the why's otherwise we'd be here for a while.
Reincarnation just makes sense to me. Sitting here right now typing this I just can't fathom that my soul, which I can practically feel, will simply disappear off this earth. I just know deep in my bones that I'll show up again somewhere as someone else. My hope is that next time, I'll come back as a guy. Tall and slim, like Brad Pitt in Snatch. And I'd be a hottie too. Girls will be chasing me all over the place. hehe I'll have a penis. Somehow I just can't stop laughing at the idea. What the hell am I going to do with it? hehe
I know what you're saying and no. I don't care if I'm famous or not. I'll make my own fame if needed. I just want to be a guy. As Kevin Costner said as Crash in Bull Durham "How come in former lifetimes, everybody was someone famous? How come nobody ever says they were Joe Schmo?"
Well, I'll be Joe Schmo. Not literally though. That name sucks ass. I'll have a cool name. Like Jesse or Dylan. Well, providing they have worthwhile meanings. I really don't think I'll have changed that much that I wouldn't care. Ah, now look what you've done. I'm going to have to go research those names now.
Anyway, back to death. I don't get why so many people are scared of it. My cousins, my friend Sharon. They refuse to talk about it. And since it's a favorite subject of mine, they spend a vast amount of time getting all wiggy and weirded out, like they think just talking about it is suddenly going to make me drop dead. Although I can't really blame them since I had that same kind of wigginess when I was 7.
I could talk about death all day. There are actually times that I do. My death in particular. My whole belief in reincarnation just fuels my interest in the subject and it's probably part of why I'm no longer scared of it. My cousins and Sharon on the other hand ... they don't believe in reincarnation. They just don't understand it, so they don't get it and that's probably why they don't like to talk about death. Or it could be that I'm always reminding them that I want to be cremated when I die. Guess people don't like to have something like that in their heads.
{Obsession Alert - Jesse is Hebrew for God exists and Dylan is Welsh for son/born of the sea. Which means that if I'm called Jesse Dylan ... i.e. God exists for the son born of the sea ... in my next life, it's highly possible that Neptune (god) will be my father and I'll have a dumb sister named Ariel who will sell her voice to some ugly octopus chick, so she can sneak off to visit some rich prince and then get kicked out because Dad won't let her come home again. See how you ruin people's lives Disney?}
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