Anyway, so I'm on the N going downtown and this guy in these loose wrestler pants gets on. The car's fairly empty. Just me, the new guy and maybe three other people. New guy takes up residence at the other end of the car. And when I say takes up residence, I mean he sets up his gym and his juice bar and gets down to work.
As usual I'm the only one who seems to notice that the guy has taken off his outer clothes, hooked some stretchy ropy thing around something over the door and proceeds to start exercising. What the hell is that? I mean who does that?
I can see getting on a train drunk as hell and then proceeding to puke your guts out, making everyone run to the opposite side of the train car, while you pass out. I can see that, because I did see it. And for once I wasn't the only one. My cousin and everyone else saw it. But then again who wouldn't notice that? No one wants drunk puke on them. Regular puke is bad enough but a drunk's puke? Not only would you smell like puke you're also going to smell like stale alcohol. And that's a lethal combination.
But People Watching isn't just about catching something that people think they're doing on the sly. Not like picking your nose. I sure as hell don't care about that. I watch people because humans are fricking fascinating. Just like others go to the zoo to look at the monkeys or other wildlife in wonder, so I look at other people. The human creature is a fascinating thing. They'll do the weirdest things when they hope that no one's looking, or in the case of Old Man Pervert, they'll do things in such an overt way that it's clear that they obviously don't care if anyone sees them doing it or they think that they're being all clever and that no one will realize what they've done.
But people watching isn't all fun and games my friend. There's a darker side of people watching. A side so horrible that only those of us with the courage and the stomach of a lion can prevail in this dangerous obsession. Two weeks ago I was at the beach for an event beach party. The atmosphere was fun and open, everyone was having a good time and women were getting topless, men were ... well you had to be there. Which I was and as usual I was observing the people around me. Hoping to see something interesting.
Looking back now I realize that expression 'be careful what you with for' is an especially cautionary tale for people like me, who see too much and are always yearning to see more.
Standing ten feet in front of me was an old man, who proceeded to strip naked as he changed from his swim suit into his regular clothes. It was a sight so horrible that mere words cannot express the feelings that overwhelmed me as I looked on in horror. Have no fear, I won't bring you into my now recurring nightmare by describing what I saw. I will just leave you with this warning.
Being blind is not a handicap. It is a blessing.
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