Still ... I got sugar. And now that I've managed to sneak sugar back in the house, I've got to start working on salt. You have no idea how much a person can miss salt until you get so used to not eating salt, that one day when you open the cupboard and see a box of something called 'NoSalt' A Salt Alternative, that you just cry.
A Salt Alternative. How sad is that? First it's 'Equal' instead of sugar, then the no salt, low fat, cholesterol free, whipped butter substitute, then the eggless lowfat mayo ... now it's 'NoSalt.' I don't cry much, but I really wanted to cry then.
Yeah, yeah I hear what you're saying, "Why doesn't she get off her lazy ass and go buy the real shit if she wants it so bad?" Well screw you asshole. I don't WANT them, I'd just like to know the option is there. You have no idea what I live through so shut your piehole and come back to me when you're eating saltless whole-wheat bread. Or fish for the hundredth time in a row. Or drinking low fat, unsweetened soymilk. Ok I like the soy milk ... and the saltless wheat bread isn't that bad. And you get used to the taste of no salt butter. It's just. Well hell man, I just miss the real stuff sometimes.
Which just leads to another problem where you go to someone else's house and see all these different flavors and you just get a rush like a pot smoker in the snack aisle. You overdo it. Which is never a good thing, especially if you've been without salt for months and you just start adding it to everything, even your drink. Trust me the end result isn't pretty. By the time you go home you don't want to see salt again. Ever. Or sugar, or butter. Well the butter is cool as long as you don't get a lot of that nasty butter they put on popcorn at the movies, that shit just tastes like oil.
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