Death stikes again ... or not.
People of the world, I have been jipped, hoodwinked and bamboozled. You all know how fond of Death I am and how I've been waiting patiently for it to come along and pick me up and carry me off into the ... abyss?
Well Death tricked me good on Wednesday. There I was thinking that finally, finally it had come to take me away so we could finally be together once and for all and what? Bupkiss. It was just toying with my emotions. Bastard! I know you don't share my feelings but damn there's no reason to be mean.
Allow me to explain ...
Ladies and Gentlemen, I laughed in the face of danger ... okay I lie, I laughed at danger after it left. But that still counts. I was late for work ... as has become the norm, so I guess you could say I was on time. I decided to get some breakfast so I stop off at this nice bodega three blocks from my job where they don't have a license to cell cigarettes but they do anyway. (This will be important later)
So there I am, got me a Ruby Red Grapefruit juice and asked the guy for a breakfast sandwich. So he's warming the sandwich up for me and I'm just standing there all la di da, wondering to myself if one day my luck will run out and my boss will finally tell to either come in on time or don't come in at all. As I was whatevering and rolling my eyes at the possibility, the door opens and in comes these two guys.
I know this might seem strange but it actually took me a good minute to register that these guys were wearing scarves over their faces, but the gun registered right off. Well to be fair it was right in my face so perhaps that's why I didn't have time to notice their criminal couture and fancy facial wear.
That's right folks, I got held up. Well technically the bodega got held up, I just happened to be there. The only customer in the place. The only person not protected behind a counter, be it cash or deli. So of course when the two nice gentlemen decided to hold up the joint I'm primed to be the first hostage. With a gun to my face, the big one takes my arm in a surprisingly gentle manner and pulls me close to him, the gun right beside my head, but not pointing directly at me at the moment since he's quietly indicating to the owner to step the fuck aside.
Now that I think about it his grip was almost tender in the way, gently reassuring as if to say, hey baby, I'm not going to hurt you, unless something goes wrong and then you're the first to get it. I almost fell in love right there.
He gestures to the guy behind the deli to come down and join the owner behind the counter to the side and then gives his friend the go ahead to leap gracefully over the counter and to the till. I say till because this bodega was without a cash register. Which should have been an early indication to me of the susceptibility of this place to being robbed. But when I'm getting my juice and cigs on mornings I rarely take time to notice or care about these things.
So while criminal #1 is getting the cash, criminal #2 still has me in his oh so gentle grip, but then he tells me to join the owner and the deli guy behind the counter. I choose not to protest because I've always wanted to see the view from the other side.
Continue
|
|
