God bless you Mario. Damnit he's converting me. Quick think something Atheist. Revelations is bullshit. Ah, that's it. I'm all good again.

4:10pm. Ok a new guy just came in and took over pounding whatever that thing is with a stick from the other weird guy who seems to have disappeared. What the hell is that shit? Maybe this warehouse also fronts as a cocaine plant. At least I hope it's coke. This is the US Mail we're talking about. For all I know it could be anthrax. [Note to the FBI agent reading this after the word 'anthrax' jumped onto your hitlist of terrorist words ... oh and 'terrorist' ... I'm just kidding. It was probably dust or ... coke. Don't go raid the place on my say so. Then again be my guest that way I won't have to go back tomorrow.]

4:20pm. Here comes a J-Ho again. Seriously sweetheart why the tight pants? With an ass like that you should be camouflaging it. It ain't a J-Lo butt, that's a Way-Lo butt, so dream on.

4:30pm. "Almost there. See how fast the afternoon goes?"

Jesus Mario why don't I fucking hate you? Usually by now I would have slapped the shit out of you for being so fricking cheerful. What the hell is in this ink?

4:40pm. Damnit I forgot to tape Mutant X. I know it's also a repeat, but damnit I like Mutant X.

4:45pm. I'm on my third set of Elmo bandaids. Crating these fucking letters have fucked up my fingers completely. They're bleeding. So there's a note to any of you. If you get a letter from your bank and there's blood on it. IT'S MINE. My blood, sweat and tears have literally gone into this job. I haven't had a day this bad since I lost my virginity. Don't ask, suffice it to say I was a born again virgin afterwards. Not in the creepy church 'I'm a bride for Jesus' kind of way. Just the old 'No man will EVER touch me EVER AGAIN' sort of way. Good times ... good times.

4:50pm. Ten more minutes? I'm almost tempted to start singing hallelujah. But I'll just go kill the rest of the time in the bathroom instead.

5:00pm. Good-bye Mario you freakishly cheerful guy. I love you. Bye dad from Girlfight ... I could still kick your ass. Bye Pocketsize Vin Diesel/Michel from Gilmore Girls/Willie ... seriously ... you're like pushing thirty. Cut that Willie shit out. Good-bye anthrax infested, cocaine chopping mail processing HELL.

Is that all you got devil? Thought you had me huh? Guess again you red headed pointy haired freak. Bring it on. I went to hell and got home by 6pm ... well 8:30pm. I stopped at Barnes and Noble and had a white mocha with coconut syrup from Starbucks. Anyway, take your best shot Lucy ... it'll take more than hell to scare me into believing in you. I live with my mother dude. Hell's nothing.

Well suffice it to say I won't be going back there tomorrow. Screw that shit. Who in their right mind would go to hell twice? Who is that desperate for money that they'd suffer through that again willingly?

... Shit. I'll see you tomorrow Mario.

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