Now the question is; Where does this fear of responsibility, i.e. Actual Life ... fall? Addiction or Obsession ... neither it's a phobia, but I guess it can be summed up as more of a Peeve. Since it kinda pisses me off that I can't just go on existing, now I actually have to start living. Again. Ok who am I kidding, it's all part of a much, much bigger addiction.

This whole growing up and moving forward thing is really going to put a cramp in my TV schedule. I'm totally going to have to tape my soaps. Plus I'm going to have to go back to forcing myself to go to sleep at night. Oh well ... bring on the sleeping pills.

Ok it's 3:30am in the morning and I'm still up ... So much for me going to bed early. I just spent the last half hour planning out my next four years in college. Even chose which courses I'll be taking each semester. I've officially crossed over to the darkside. First I put off Alias until the next day, then The O.C. ... now I'm making plans for the future. Did it just get cold in here all of a sudden? Grams, is that you?

People have been urging me to grow up for a while now and I've been ignoring them. Good thing too, since most of their lives are so fucked up that it seems to me, they only want me to mature so I can wallow in the pitiful murk of adulthood like they do. They're miserable ... and you know what they say about misery. Yup ... it's a bitch.

So screw that. I'm not in any rush to be miserable and gray before my time. It's going to happen eventually so I'm content to make it wait for me, rather than rush headlong into it. So until then, I'll be going back to being irresponsible and having my day revolve around the important things in life ... my TV schedule. Cause that's how God intended it ... Well, my God anyway. He lives in the TV.

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