To Television that is. Yeah TV's my crack. Sorry ... forgot for a minute Whitney Houston's wise words ... 'crack is whack.'

Television is my high priced, under the counter, celeb prescription, drug of choice. Fortunately when I take it I don't end up on a five fingered discount shopping spree like Winona Ryder, or with a mug shot shown around the world like that old guy who used to be someone back in the day ... Nick Novelty.

No, my TV addiction is pure and is in no way detrimental to my health ... I swear. [You can't prove otherwise.] OK fine it has some of the affects of regular drugs, but that's purely by coincidence.

Still ... if you know someone who might be a victim of TV abuse, and you're worried about their health, here are some of the signs you should look out for:

Symptoms of TV Abuse:

Association with known TV abusers - If your loved one suddenly starts hanging around with other TV addicts ... it's pretty much a guarantee that they're watching a lot of TV too.

Secretive behavior regarding actions and possessions - Poorly concealed attempts to avoid attention and suspicion such as frequent trips to rooms where TV's might be. Addicts usually avoid friends and family at specific times, depending on when they plan on indulging their addictions. Prime Time (8pm-11pm) is usually a key factor in TV addiction.

Lack of sleep - Some addicts stay up all hours of the night watching television ... or taped television, which leads to our next sign ...

Difficulty focusing: glazed appearance of the eyes - Tired, blood shot eyes make it difficult to hide the symptoms. Beware of loved ones who say that they're merely tired. Those red rimmed eyes stem directly from staring at a television screen all night long.

Sleepy or stuporous in the later stages - Due to their lack of sleep from watching too much television, most TV abusers will appear lethargic or stuporous during their TV off hours. [If this is even possible.]

Change in social behavior - Addicts become reclusive. They don't want to go out, they don't want to be with their friends or interact with their families. They just want to be alone with their television and away from all outside interference and noise.

Change in diet - Addicts will begin hoarding snacks in their room. Popcorn, sodas, potato chips. Some addicts refuse to even eat their meals at the dining room. They prefer to rush their meals to their room and eat them while watching television.

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